1. Are they hungry?

Hunger is top of the NHS list of reasons babies cry, and night feeds are part of the deal. Newborns have tiny tummies and need feeding little and often, round the clock. If it's been a while, or they're rooting, smacking their lips or sucking their hands, offer a feed first. Cluster feeding, where a baby wants to feed on and off for hours, is common in the evenings and early weeks. It's exhausting, but it's normal.

2. Is it the nappy?

A wet or dirty nappy is an easy one to rule out. Keep the lights low, the changing quick and the chat quiet so the night stays feeling like night. Having everything ready next to the changing spot before bed saves a lot of fumbling later.

3. Are they too hot or too cold?

Feel their chest or the back of their neck, not their hands. The Lullaby Trust explains that hands and feet are usually cooler, which is normal, and that hot or sweaty skin means it's time to remove a layer. They recommend a room temperature of 16 to 20°C, and say babies don't need hats indoors. If you're not sure which sleeping bag to use, our guide to what TOG actually means makes the maths easier.

4. Could it be wind or a sore tummy?

Trapped wind is a classic night-time culprit. Try winding them upright against your shoulder or sitting on your lap, and give it a few minutes longer than feels necessary. If your baby cries for long spells, often at the same time of day, and seems in discomfort despite being otherwise well, it may be colic, which the NHS says can happen in babies under 5 months. Our piece on what colic is and how to help goes into more detail.

5. Are they overtired, overstimulated or just after a cuddle?

Sometimes nothing is wrong at all, and they simply want you. The NHS lists tiredness, overstimulation and wanting a cuddle among the everyday reasons babies cry. Holding them close, swaying, gentle shushing or some quiet background noise can all help. Keep it dim and calm, and try not to add more in: another toy, another song, another room. At 3am, boring is your friend.

At 3am, boring is your friend. Dim lights, quiet voices, the same few moves on repeat.

6. Could they be unwell?

This is the one to keep in the back of your mind. The NHS advises calling your GP or NHS 111 if your baby is crying constantly and you can't console or distract them, or the cry doesn't sound like their normal cry, especially alongside signs like a high temperature or not wanting to feed. For young babies, the NHS treats a temperature of 38°C or higher under 3 months, or 39°C or higher at 3 to 6 months, as a reason to get urgent help.

Call 999 if your baby:

• has a fit (seizure)
• has blue, grey, pale or blotchy skin, lips or tongue
• is unresponsive, floppy or not waking up as easily as usual
• has difficulty breathing
• is being violently sick a lot (projectile vomiting)
• has a rash that does not fade when you press it
• has not had a wet nappy in the past 8 hours

You know your baby. If something feels off, 111 is there for exactly this, at any hour.

And then check on you

If you've been through the list and they're still crying, it's not a failure. Some nights are just like this. Swap with a partner if you can, even for twenty minutes. If there's nobody to hand over to and you feel the stress rising, the NHS advice is to put your baby down somewhere safe, like their cot, close the door, go into another room and take a few minutes to calm yourself, setting a time limit such as 10 minutes before going back.

However frustrated you feel, never shake a baby. The NHS is clear that shaking can cause brain damage. Putting them down safely and stepping away is always the better choice, and it's what good parents do.

If the crying is wearing you down, you're not alone. The Cry-sis helpline, which the NHS recommends, is free on 0800 448 0737, 9am to 10pm, 7 days a week. And for the long view on broken nights, you will sleep again. Probably not tonight. But you will.

This article is general information based on NHS and Lullaby Trust guidance and doesn't replace advice from your midwife, health visitor or GP. If you're worried about your baby, call NHS 111, or 999 in an emergency.