When a friend, sister or partner tells you they've had a miscarriage, it's natural to worry about saying the wrong thing. So lots of people say nothing at all. But silence can feel like the loss doesn't matter. You don't need perfect words. You just need to show up.
What to say
- "I'm so sorry." Simple, honest and always right.
- "I'm here if you want to talk, and I'm here if you don't." It takes the pressure off.
- Use the baby's name, if they've given one. Many parents want their baby to be remembered.
- "How are you doing today?" Adding "today" makes it easier to answer honestly.
- Keep checking in. Grief doesn't end after a week. A message a month later, or around the due date, can mean a lot.
What not to say
Most hurtful comments come from a good place, but try to avoid:
- "At least it was early." There's no "at least" in loss.
- "Everything happens for a reason."
- "You can always try again." It may have been a very wanted, hard-won pregnancy.
- "Was it something you did?" Miscarriage is almost never caused by anything the parent did.
- Your own loss story straight away. Listen first. Share later, if it helps them feel less alone.
You can't fix it. You can make sure they don't go through it alone.
Practical things that help
Don't say "let me know if you need anything". Offer something specific instead:
- drop round a meal, or send a food delivery
- take older children out for an afternoon
- walk the dog, do a supermarket run or put a wash on
- offer a lift to hospital appointments
- handle telling other people, if they'd like you to
- send a card or flowers, even weeks later
Remember dates. The original due date, and the anniversary of the loss, can be really hard. A message on those days shows you haven't forgotten.
If it's your partner
Grieve together, and differently. You might process it in different ways or at different speeds. One of you may want to talk constantly, the other to keep busy. Neither is wrong.
Look after her physical recovery. Miscarriage can involve pain, heavy bleeding and hospital visits. Take on the practical load, go to appointments together and know the warning signs that mean calling 999, like heavy bleeding, severe pain or feeling faint.
Your grief matters too. Partners often get asked "how is she?" and never "how are you?". It's OK to be heartbroken. Find someone to talk to as well.
Know your rights. From April 2027, partners will also be able to take up to two weeks' unpaid bereavement leave after a pregnancy loss before 24 weeks, as a day-one right. Until then, ask your employer about compassionate leave.
Talk about what's next, when you're both ready. There's no rush to decide about trying again.
Support for them, and for you
- Tommy's: information and support for parents after loss, including a helpline on 0800 0147 800.
- Miscarriage UK: support on 0303 003 6464.
- Their GP: if low mood or anxiety isn't lifting after a few weeks, encourage them to talk to their GP about extra support.
What should I say to someone who has had a miscarriage?
Keep it simple: "I'm so sorry" and "I'm here for you" are always right. Avoid phrases starting with "at least".
Should I mention the miscarriage or wait for them to bring it up?
It's usually kinder to acknowledge it. A short, gentle message lets them know you care without pressure to reply.
How can partners get support after a miscarriage?
Talk to friends, family or your GP, and look at charities like Tommy's. From April 2027, partners will also have a right to up to two weeks' unpaid bereavement leave after a pregnancy loss before 24 weeks.
Keep reading
- Miscarriage: what happens, what helps and where to find support
- The silent struggle: understanding and supporting maternal mental health
- The mental load, made visible: a who-does-what audit for couples
- Look after you: your day-to-day mental health
This article is general information. If you or someone you love is struggling after a pregnancy loss, speak to a GP or one of the charities above. If anyone is bleeding heavily, in severe pain or feeling faint, call 999.
If you’re trying to conceive (TTC), you probably know that there are certain foods and nutrients that become especially important once you’re pregnant. But nutrition plays a vital role even when trying to conceive, much like laying a strong foundation before constructing a house.
Certain nutrients create that foundation by supporting egg and sperm health (yes, nutrition matters for both partners), hormone balance and creating a hospitable environment for a fertilized egg to implant. In fact, studies show that certain nutrients can help increase fertility and improve success rates for both natural conception and fertility treatments.
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When choosing a supplement to support your fertility journey, look for science-backed, high-quality ingredients. Our editors are careful to select and partner with brands that use ingredients that have been clinically studied to support fertility. Eu Natural® (pronounced you) covers all those bases and more. We love knowing that Eu Natural® products contain zero artificial additives, binders, or fillers and are lab-tested to ensure purity and potency.
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