The baby name games every couple ends up playing

From the Starbucks test to the full-name shout across the park. The games, tests and tactics parents-to-be use to pick a name, and to stop it ending in a row.

Games to build your shortlist

The secret envelopes. Each of you writes your top ten names separately, without conferring. Then swap. Any name on both lists goes straight onto the shortlist. It's a surprisingly good way to find common ground, and to discover your partner has been secretly in love with a name for years.

The name draft. Run it like a fantasy football draft. Take turns picking a name for the shortlist, one at a time, until you each have five. The twist: each of you can "steal" one of the other's picks if you love it too.

Swipe right. Baby name apps let you each swipe through names separately and only show you the matches. It's very modern, very efficient and slightly addictive at midnight.

Raid the family tree. Make a list of names from both sides of the family, going back a few generations. Old names come back around, and a family middle name is a lovely way to honour someone.

Games to narrow it down

The veto. Each of you gets three vetoes. Use one, and that name is gone for good, no explanations, no arguments, no "but just hear me out". It keeps things civilised.

The name World Cup. Put your top 16 names into a knockout bracket and vote your way through to the final. Watching a long-time favourite crash out in the quarter-finals is very revealing.

If you can't shout it across a park without wincing, it's not the one.

The real-world tests

The Starbucks test. Order a coffee under the name. How does it feel when it's called out? Do you have to spell it three times? Do you like the way it sounds in a stranger's voice?

The park shout. Imagine yelling the full name across a playground when they're about to climb something they shouldn't. First, middle and surname, in your most serious voice. If it doesn't roll off the tongue, you'll find out quickly.

The initials check. Write out the initials. Then write them out again. Plenty of parents have only spotted an unfortunate combination after the birth certificate was done.

The register test. Picture a teacher reading it out on the first day of school. Think about nicknames, rhymes and what other children might make of it. Kids are creative.

The CV test. Say it with a title: Dr, Professor, Prime Minister, Head Chef. Then say it as a toddler's name. A good name grows with them.

The bump trial. Call your bump by the name for a week. Some names feel instantly right. Others start to feel wrong by Wednesday.

Games for everyone else

The sweepstake. If you're keeping the name a secret (a very good idea if you don't want everyone's opinion), let friends and family guess. Add the date, weight and sex if you don't know it, and give a prize to the winner. It keeps everyone involved without giving them a vote.

The first-letter clue. Reveal just the first letter and let people guess. It builds excitement and stops the relatives lobbying.

And if you still can't agree

Lots of parents don't decide until they've met their baby. Take a shortlist of two or three to the hospital, and see who they look like. You have 42 days to register the birth in England and Wales, so there's no rush on day one.

Want inspiration? Our look at the UK's favourite baby names is a good place to start, whether you want to follow the trends or avoid them completely.

How do couples agree on a baby name?

Try writing separate top-ten lists and keeping the names that appear on both, giving each partner a set number of vetoes, and testing your shortlist out loud in real situations.

What is the Starbucks test for baby names?

Ordering a coffee under the name you're considering, to hear how it sounds when a stranger says it and whether it needs spelling out.

Should we tell people our baby name before the birth?

It's up to you. Many couples keep it secret to avoid unwanted opinions, and share a clue or run a family sweepstake instead.

How long do you have to name a baby in the UK?

You need to register the birth within 42 days in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, so you don't have to decide on the day they're born.

Keep reading

Naming rules differ slightly in Scotland, where births must be registered within 21 days. Check GOV.UK for registering a birth.

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