There is a particular kind of cold that only exists on the side of a football pitch at 9am on a Saturday in October. It gets in through your gloves, up through your boots and straight into your soul, and it does not care how nice your coat is. Meanwhile your child, who was moaning about getting out of bed an hour ago, is sprinting around in shorts like a small, muddy furnace. Then the final whistle goes, the sweat turns cold, and suddenly everyone is shivering in a car park trying to find a dry sock.

If that is your weekend routine, welcome. You are in the biggest club in the country. Here is how to make the touchline a little less miserable, for the players and for the people holding the flask.

The real problem is after the whistle

Most parents plan for the match. Fewer plan for the ten minutes afterwards, which is where the damage happens. Kids come off hot, damp and muddy, then stand around in the wind while the coach does the team talk and someone looks for a lost shin pad. Cold, wet kids get grumpy fast, and a grumpy kid in a car seat is a long drive home for everyone.

The fix is boringly simple: get something warm and weatherproof over them the second they stop running. This is exactly what the Red Equipment Kids EVO Pro Change Robe was designed for. It started life with the brand water-sports crowd, but a robe built to cope with a freezing beach turns out to be rather good on a freezing playing field too.

What makes it work on the touchline

It keeps the weather out. The outer is 15k waterproof and 8k breathable, with taped seams and storm protection, so drizzle and a gusty wind stay on the outside. Breathable matters here, because a hot, sweaty footballer zipped into something that does not let heat escape just ends up clammy again.

It is properly warm inside. The lining is a deep-pile sherpa fleece, soft enough that sensory-sensitive kids are usually happy to keep it on, and the fit is roomy enough to pull on over a kit or to wriggle out of a wet shirt underneath it. Anyone who has tried to peel a muddy top off a cold child in the open air will know why that matters.

It copes with the chaos. There is space inside for a name label (up to three names, handy for hand-me-downs), reflective strips for dark evening training sessions, and fleece-lined pockets for cold hands. It is also made from 100% recycled fabrics with a PFC-free waterproof finish, and Red Equipment is a B Corp. It is built to be repaired and passed down, so it should outlast one season and probably one sibling.

A warm child is a child who does not mention how cold they are for the entire drive home.

It comes in seven colours: Admiral Blue, Alpine Blue, Bitter Orange, Caramel, Sage Green, Salty Pink and Stealth Black. If your child is a magnet for mud, Stealth Black is the one that will quietly forgive a lot. Prices start from £64.95, which is not pocket money, but it is a coat, a towel and a changing tent in one, and it earns its place every single weekend between now and March.

And what about you?

Here is the bit nobody says out loud: the adults are often colder than the kids. You are standing still for ninety minutes, and nobody has ever kept warm by shouting "good effort" into the wind. Red Equipment make adult versions of the robe too, for both men and women, so there is no reason the person on the sideline should be the only one without a warm layer. It also doubles as a decent post-swim or post-dog-walk cover-up, which is a lot of use for one item.

The touchline survival kit

Whatever you wear, a few small things make a big difference.

Bring a flask. Hot chocolate for the players, something stronger in the tea for you if you are not driving. Having something warm in your hands is half the battle.

Layer up, then add one more. Thermals, a fleece, a proper coat, and a woolly hat. It always feels about three degrees colder than the forecast says it will.

Pack a spare pair of socks per child. Wet feet are what ruin a morning. Dry socks are the cheapest bit of kit you will ever buy.

Keep a bin bag in the boot. For muddy boots, wet kit and the occasional emergency seat protector. Your upholstery will thank you.

Bring a folding chair and some cash. Even the sparsest club has a tea van or a bacon roll situation, and it is usually run on coins.

The Motherhood verdict

The real test of a bit of kit is whether you stop thinking about it after the first week. A robe that goes on at the final whistle, keeps the cold out and turns the car park shivers into a calm drive home is exactly that. With the evenings drawing in and the season in full swing, it is a very good time to sort the Saturday morning setup, and a solid contender for a Christmas list too. Have a look at the full range here.

Prices and colours correct at the time of writing and may change. Always check the Red Equipment website for the latest availability.