If friendships feel different right now—more tender, more complicated, more emotional—nothing is wrong with you. You’re going through a huge transition, and relationships often shift when we do.

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This is for the moments you feel grateful and lonely. Excited and a bit heartbroken. The moments you’re not sure what to say to your friends anymore, or you’re tired of explaining your body, your boundaries, your fatigue, your fears.

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Let’s talk about why pregnancy changes friendships—and what you can do to protect the ones that matter, without forcing anything.

Why friendships can feel different in pregnancy (even the really solid ones)

1) Your world gets smaller, fast

In early pregnancy especially, your energy can drop off a cliff. Plans that used to feel easy suddenly feel like a mountain: getting dressed, leaving the house, making conversation when you’re nauseous, pretending you’re fine when you’re not.

That doesn’t mean you don’t love your friends. It means your bandwidth has changed.

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2) You’re living a whole secret life (even if you’ve told people)

Even when friends know you’re pregnant, there’s still a private world inside it: the symptoms, the worries, the appointments, the constant mental background noise of Is everything okay?

Your friends might be talking about holidays and work drama while you’re quietly tracking discharge and googling whether you should be feeling cramps. It can feel like you’re in the same room, but speaking different languages.

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3) People don’t always know what to say

Some friends will say the perfect thing. Others will say something… odd. Or clumsy. Or well-meaning but unhelpful.

Sometimes people go quiet because:

• they’re scared of getting it wrong
• they don’t know how to relate
• they’ve never been close to pregnancy before
• pregnancy brings up their own stuff (loss, longing, complicated feelings)

None of this excuses hurtful behaviour—but it can explain the awkwardness.

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4) You might be more sensitive than usual (because hormones + vulnerability are real)

Pregnancy can soften you. You’re more open, more tender, more easily bruised. Things you’d normally brush off might land harder:

• a friend not checking in
• someone making jokes about your body
• being left out of plans
• comments like “Just wait…”

You’re not being dramatic. You’re in a vulnerable season.

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5) Your priorities quietly re-order themselves

You might notice you’re less interested in certain conversations, nights out, or friendships that felt fine before but now feel draining. That can feel confusing and guilt-inducing.

But often it’s just clarity: you’re moving into a life where emotional safety matters more.

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The friendship shifts that can happen (and how they might show up)

The “close friend who suddenly disappears”

This one hurts the most because you expected them to be right there with you. Sometimes it’s temporary. Sometimes it’s not.

It can look like:

• shorter replies
• no mention of the pregnancy at all
• last-minute cancellations
• avoidance

If this is happening, you’re allowed to feel sad. It’s a real grief.

The “friend who means well but makes it about them”

They might flood you with advice, tell you horror stories, or compare constantly. It can feel like you’re being talked at rather than supported.

A gentle boundary can help here (more on that below).

The “friend who surprises you”

Sometimes the person who shows up most isn’t who you expected. The quiet friend. The colleague. The neighbour. The mum you barely knew at the school gates.

Pregnancy has a way of revealing who is steady.

The “friendship that doesn’t fit your life right now”

Some friendships are built around spontaneity, drinking, long nights, or being in the same stage. When your stage changes, the friendship can wobble.

That doesn’t mean it was fake. It just means it might need adjusting.

How to nurture friendships during pregnancy (without overextending yourself)

1) Say what you need—plainly, kindly, without apologising

People aren’t mind readers, and pregnancy needs can be oddly specific.

Try:

• “I’m struggling with nausea, so I’m not great at plans—but voice notes really help.”
• “I’d love to see you, but I’m more of a daytime tea person right now.”
• “I’m feeling a bit anxious—could you check in this week?”

You’re not being needy. You’re giving your friends a map.

2) Offer “low-lift” ways to stay close

Friendship doesn’t have to be dinner and deep chats.

Some low-lift connection ideas:

• a short walk with a takeaway coffee
• a film night at yours (with blankets and snacks)
• a 10-minute phone call on your lunch break
• sending memes / voice notes
• “come sit with me while I fold baby clothes”

The right people won’t need you to perform.

3) Decide who gets the inner circle

Not everyone deserves the most tender parts of this season.

You can gently sort your friendships into:

• Inner circle: safe people who help you feel calm
• Outer circle: people you like, but who drain you a bit
• Not right now: people who leave you feeling worse

This isn’t mean. It’s wise. Pregnancy is an emotionally exposed time.

4) Set boundaries around advice and “just you wait”

Some people can’t stop themselves. You can stop the conversation.

Try:

• “I’m trying to keep things calm—can we skip the scary stories?”
• “I know you mean well, but advice overload makes me anxious.”
• “I’m focusing on positive support right now.”

You don’t have to be the container for everyone else’s opinions.

5) Make room for mixed feelings (yours and theirs)

Sometimes you’ll feel jealous of friends’ freedom. Sometimes they’ll feel unsure how to fit into your new world. Sometimes pregnancy triggers difficult emotions for people who are struggling to conceive or who’ve experienced loss.

You can hold compassion and still protect yourself.

If a friend’s pain is present, it might sound like:

• “I love you and I want to be gentle with your heart. And I also need support right now—can we find a way to do both?”

It’s okay if you can’t carry everything.

6) Let “effort” be the measure, not perfection

Look for:

• checking in
• remembering appointments
• offering help
• staying curious about how you feel
• making space for your reality

Sometimes friendship in pregnancy looks like someone simply saying:
“I don’t know exactly what to do, but I’m here.”

That counts.

What if a friendship hurts right now?

If you feel rejected, forgotten, or like you’re the only one trying, here’s a gentle approach:

Step 1: Name the feeling privately

Before you message them, be honest with yourself:

• “I feel left behind.”
• “I feel lonely.”
• “I feel like this friendship isn’t holding me.”

Naming it helps you speak from clarity rather than rawness.

Step 2: Try one honest message (if it feels safe)

Something like:
“Hey, I miss you. Pregnancy has made me feel a bit sensitive, and I’ve noticed we haven’t been as connected. I’d really love to keep you close—are you up for a catch-up?”

If they respond warmly, great. If they don’t, that’s information too.

Step 3: Release what you can’t force

This is the hardest part: you can’t nurture a friendship alone.

If someone consistently doesn’t show up, you’re allowed to step back and save your energy for people who do.

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A small truth that might comfort you

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Pregnancy is a doorway. It changes you, and it often changes your relationships, too.

Some friendships will deepen in beautiful ways. Some will soften and drift for a while. Some will return later, stronger. Some won’t come with you into the next chapter—and that can hurt, even if it’s right.

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But you deserve friendships that feel like:

• warmth
• ease
• safety
• being able to say “this is hard” without being fixed
• being loved as you are, in this season

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You’re not “too much.” You’re in a lot. And the right people will meet you there.

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